The Science Behind Relationships
People often talk about ‘the art of seduction,’ but the rational, scientific aspect of the relationship is rarely mentioned, even if it could offer a workable solution for many relationship issues.
Since interpersonal relationships are among the most important parts of our lives, it is strange that we don’t spend more time analyzing them rationally and impartially. When you peel away the emotional layer and start thinking about the basics of a successful relationship, it’s possible to identify certain factors that greatly affect how two people will get along. However, it’s very difficult to do this when you are involved in an ongoing relationship, which is why some external guidance is welcome.
This is especially true for people who meet through dating sites because it is difficult to establish communication and interest the person you like by correspondence. But many dating sites have blogs and tutorials to help you get there faster. Among these sites – cupid or other matchmaking platforms with these features. They connect people and help to find the most suitable partner for a relationship with similar goals. It becomes easier to build relationships online and transform them into something more serious.
Here are some interesting views on this topic from the scientific angle:
Friendship with a partner is a great foundation
All human relationships are based on mutual trust, and this is true for romantic couples, too. That’s why building a strong and stable foundation is so important – if you are able to have deep understanding and empathy with the other person, you won’t have difficulties achieving emotional closeness. Men often avoid being labeled as ‘friends’ by the women they are attracted to, but the truth is that friendship comes before love and could be seen as a key component of it. Instead of resisting a friendly relationship, it may be wiser to embrace the long-term approach and try to develop real psychological rapport before talking about undying passion.
Always try something new
Another key factor that can make a relationship more fulfilling is innovativeness (or freshness, if you like). People sometimes expect to meet an amazing person without leaving their comfort zone, but this is rarely possible. Introducing a bit of change into your lifestyle can do wonders for your confidence and reinvigorate your spirit. For example, if you are not meeting suitable partners at a local bar, perhaps you should try any dating site where you can meet singles. The excitement you will feel when you are chatting with complete strangers on the internet could make you appreciate any romantic success more than you would normally do.
5 magic hours together
Perhaps the most insightful scientific theory about happiness in a relationship was proposed by Gottman & Silver (1999), who suggested that 5 quality hours spent with a partner every week are enough to build a powerful and lasting bond. The trick is for those five hours to be dedicated exclusively to your relationship and involve shared activities that you don’t otherwise engage in. Those researchers went a step further and calculated how much time it takes to show appreciation for your partner and found that often just a few minutes are sufficient to express your true feelings. However, the couple should have at least one scheduled date every week – even if they have been married for many years.
The power of positive thinking
The same authors insist that a positive attitude can do a lot to prevent marital problems. If you are using affirmative language and you acknowledge all the good things that the other side deserves credit for, you will shrink the space for possible conflicts. The motto of the Gottman institute is ‘small things often,’ and it encapsulates this principle in very simple words. You don’t have to move the mountains in order to satisfy your partner, but you have to keep tugging at loose ends day after day. This kind of dedication sends a clear message that you are in it for the long haul and that you won’t jump ship if the relationship ever runs into dire straits.
Using the above scientific facts, your chances to interest the person you like grow exponentially. It is best to use several of them at the same time to achieve the desired result.